I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
