Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
