you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
