The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
