She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize