did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
