youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
