Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
