I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
