I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
