I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
