I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
