His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize