Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
