I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
