Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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