IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
