stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
