Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
