think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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