i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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