Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I am spending my child support on dildos
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Your cock deserves a montage
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
