Welp...herpes.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize