I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
