I didn't shave. On purpose
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
