i think my tv is drunk
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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