So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize