I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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