Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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