i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
