dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
