i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
