At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
