She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
