so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
