Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
