the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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