with your own penis?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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