Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
