yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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