It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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