Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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