Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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