Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
