my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
