i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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