OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
