Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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