i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
