i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm jealous of your bromance
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
