by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
