Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Randomize
