Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
