I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
