Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize