i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
