we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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