she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
