Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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